Remember the days when bigger bullies beat up smaller kids on the playground, or gave wedgies in the hallways, or swirlies in the restrooms? No, I am not waxing poetic on the good old days gone by. I have just been thinking lately about the newer, more sinister ways that kids are bullying each other. 
 
Ever heard of cyberbullying? Cyberbullying is a fairly new form of bullying that involves people using communication technologies (like cell phones, Instant Messaging, text messaging, personal web pages, etc.) to create hostile environments for their victims. How do they do it? Imagine that a girl you know wants to create a rumor about someone. She can simply log onto her My Space account using a username and password (it may be her own or someone else’s login information) and create a post on her web page that can be viewed by hundreds of “friends,” many of whom probably attend the same school. With a mere click of the mouse, she could change a person’s life forever. Yep, it’s that simple. 
 
Another more direct way that cyber bullies degrade their victims is through harassing e-mails, text messages, and phone calls. The bully, in this case, uses unkind words or threats to communicate directly with the victim instead of spreading information to others. These two means of harassment are not mutually exclusive and often times, bullies will use both in order to make someone else’s life miserable.
 
No form of bullying is harmless, but with cyberbullying, the problems are more complex. First, it is quite easy for a cyberbully to remain anonymous. It is very difficult to figure out who is the perpetrator unless the victim is willing to tell, which leads me to another problem…many kids don’t tell. As you might expect, a small percentage of kids tell teachers (about 3%) and a slightly larger percentage tell parents (11%) about being harassed. What might surprise you, though, is that a whopping 42% of kids don’t tell anyone – not even their friends. 

One unfortunate result of this harassment is isolation. Harassers count on being able to isolate their victims from friends, parents, and other sources of support. Sadly, due to the anonymous nature of the harassment, kids often cannot even tell if perceived enemies or “friends” are harassing them. Also, strength is no longer the primary factor involved in who victimizes and who is victimized. With technology, anyone can be a bully. 
 
The worst possible outcome of this type of bullying is suicide. The rate of suicide among victims of cyberbullying is on the rise. Think about it this way. When I was a teenager, my bedroom was my sanctuary – a place to hide out and regroup. What if a bully could follow you anywhere, even into your bedroom, through your computer or cell phone? Where could you go to find peace?  In such a case, you're not only isolated, but you have nowhere to run.
 
What is a parent or other concerned adult to do? That question is currently a matter of some debate. A natural reaction might be to tell your child to go offline and stay offline. Another reaction might be to demand that the school do something if the harasser attends your child’s school. Unfortunately, the strong desire to stay connected is probably a primary reason that kids don’t tell parents and other adults. It is very difficult to balance keeping children safe with allowing them to maintain their personal social networks. Also, it is almost impossible for schools to police what happens online, especially when the harassment does not happen during school hours. 
 
So I repeat…what’s a caring adult to do? Please share your ideas. Let's start a dialogue to solve this problem. If your child was being harassed online, what would you do? Or, if you are a teen and you were being bullied online, how would you handle it? 

Gina Taylor – Program Leader, 4-H Youth Education
 
Patchin, J.W. & Hinduja, S. (2006). Bullies move beyond the schoolyard: A preliminary look at cyberbullying [Electronic version]. Youth Violence and Juvenile Justice, 4(2): 148-169. Retrieved September 17, 2007, from http://www.cyberbullying.us/research.php.